Houston rated #1 in Mean Trains

Houston has topped the national charts for mean trains. Our trains seeth with rage at the mere sight of a car and jump at the chance maim or kill a person. In the past, Metro's light rail has been carrying the load of mean train responsibilities by smashing every car and blind-drunk bum that crosses it's tracks. Recently, the Metro has entered a rough patch or slump in it's crash numbers which has not gone unnoticed by it's larger cousins, the freight trains. Not wanting to let the meanness title slip away the freight trains has upped their game to a level not seen before. Freight trains have not only started hitting, they're killing unwary citizens. They even whacked a celebrity. That's right, it's not just train racing teens facing fearsome freight fury, but NBA stars are no longer safe either. Even if you're 6' 10", 245# you have no chance against a determined 500 million ton train.



So, hobos and train robbers beware, Houston is not your kind of town. Keep your eyes peeled because there's a killer on the loose.

Police photo of suspect/person of interest.